Unless you are among the luckiest people in the world, or you are totally free of all relationships in the real world, you have to cope with difficult people in the course of your work. Difficult people are everywhere. Some are habitually late for work. Customers are

often rude. Co-workers can be abusive and uncooperative as they guard their turf.

Others may goof off leaving you to pick up the slack. There are bosses who

consistently make unreasonable demands and never have a kind word to say. ?on? waste your time searching for Utopia where there are no difficult people. The

wise, truly ambitious careerist, spends his or her time figuring out how to manage

these relationships so that they don't become roadblocks to personal progress and

success for the organization,?says Ramon Greenwood, senior career counselor at

Common Sense At Work. CAREER BLOCKERS COME IN SEVEN FORMSIn his book, Coping With Difficult People, Dr. Robert M. Bramson names seven basic

patterns of difficult behavior:1. Hostile-Aggressive: The bullies, walking time bombs, who throw tantrums

and try to "muscle" their way through. 2. Complainers: They gripe incessantly, but never try to make things better. 3. Silent and Unresponsive: They only answer, "yeah," "nope," or just grunt and

stare. 4. Super-Agreeables: Very likable, outgoing people who will agree to anything, but

rarely produce what they promise. 5. Negativists: For them, "It won't work, it's impossible. " They are always

complaining; always ready to criticize everything about the job; always gossiping. 6. Know-It-All Experts: These are superior types who want you to know how smart

they are and to realize how incompetent you are. 7. Indecisives: They wait for someone else to make the decisions; if they do have to

decide, they want to wait until everything is perfect. If things go wrong, someone

else is at fault. TEN WAYS TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLEHere are 10 common sense suggestions that should help in dealing with these

difficult types. 1. Recognize you are not "just being negative and difficult" yourself when you

acknowledge the reality that the world is brim full of difficult people. 2. Keep your eyes on your personal goals. Don't let hard-to-get-along-with people

become a personal issue. Put them in the proper perspective. They are not your

personal problem unless they impede your progress. 3. You don't have to like a person to get along with him or her. Working

relationships are not like marriages. They are transient connections in the process

of reaching your objective. 4. Recognize you can be difficult, too. 5. Try to understand why difficult people are difficult. Are they always hard to get

along with, or just on those "bad days" everyone, including you, has?Could it be they are just different? Understand that what may be seen as normal

behavior by some, could be outrageous in another's view. Salesmen often find

accountants too difficult when they are finicky about numbers. On the other hand,

CPA's may find salesmen, with their aggressive personalities and "big picture" views,

hard to get along with. 6. Be big enough to accommodate with the difficult person, up to a point, so

long as they don? stymie you. Let the difficult person run his course. 7. When you do have to butt heads, be firm. Don't argue. Don't get personal. State

your case and move on. Be ready to let the difficult person back off the limb he has

gone out on. 8. Try to ignore the person and the situation, especially if you are dealing with

a certifiable "basket case. " Maintain as much distance? physically, organizationally

and emotionally? as possible between yourself and the source of difficulty. 9. However, try as you might, there may come a time when it makes common sense

to recognize that some relationships are too difficult to live with. Go to your boss,

explain the situation and ask him to resolve it by moving you to another position

away from the trouble-maker or by correcting or removing that person. Keep in

mind this can backfire unless you are clearly in the right. Go to your boss, explain the situation and ask him to resolve it by moving you to

another position away from the trouble-maker or by correcting or removing that

person. Keep in mind this can backfire unless you are clearly in the right. 10. Finally, if you have made your best effort along the lines discussed here and the

difficulty still exists and it is hurting your personal life and career, you have but one

choice. Learn to live with it, or leave for another position. Keep in mind, however, there will be difficult people wherever you go. You?l have

to deal with them or surrender. Ramon Greenwood is former senior vice president of American Express; a

professional director for various businesses; a consultant; a published author of

career related books and a syndicated column. Senior career counselor for

http://www. CommonSenseAtWork. com

Author:
Ramon Greenwood